Domesticated Beast by Onley James

Author:Onley James [James, Onley]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Onley James Books

Bowie was numb. He sat in the passenger seat of the Charger, head resting against the glass, hoping the icy cool air from the a/c vent would somehow turn his heart back on. Or, at least, his sense of self preservation.

Somebody had carved a piece of a dead man’s flesh off their body and turned it into a disgusting cross-stitch and he felt…nothing. Somebody wanted Bowie dead. That should inspire some level of fear, right? But dying seemed a better alternative than being terrorized by the monster who assaulted him. Maybe he was the weird one.

Bowie wanted to be one of those guys who didn’t need somebody to protect them. He’d never really hesitated to defend himself when necessary. He could throw a punch. He could definitely take one…or ten. He’d spent his life defending himself against the small town bullies and homophobes who didn’t want gays or ballet dancers in their town, much less both in one.

But Bowie couldn’t defend himself against this. Or maybe he could but didn’t want to. Either way, he was grateful Javier was there. He was relieved that he wouldn’t hesitate to pull the trigger if necessary. Bowie wasn’t sure he could say the same, no matter how big the danger. Throwing a punch and firing a gun were two very different things, and he just didn’t know if he could kill a man.

Did that make Bowie weak? He didn’t care. He wasn’t a killer. But he was in love with one. The thought hit him like a tidal wave, stealing his breath and sucking him down into his feelings. Fuck, he loved Javier. Barely over a month and he was all in. Did Javier feel the same? Was murder his love language? If so, Javier had said it first. Had felt it first. Had shot three people in cold blood just to keep him safe.

Shouldn’t that horrify Bowie? It didn’t. All he’d felt was relieved. Javier did the things others couldn’t. The law had denied Bowie justice, but Javier had given it to him anyway. Bowie loved him for that, not in spite of it. Did that make him a monster, too? Maybe. But there was a level of security in being under Javier’s protection that he refused to apologize for. He needed to feel safe and Javier made him feel safe. Safe and desirable and loved. All things Bowie never thought he would find. At least, not anytime soon.

“You alright, angel?”

Bowie looked at him and smiled. “Yeah. I’m okay.”

Javier frowned, gaze darting between Bowie and the road. “You sure? It’s okay if you’re not. This is a lot.”

“I don’t feel…anything. I’m just…blank.”

Javier reached over and snagged his hand, squeezing it. “You’re just in shock. I’m honestly surprised it hasn’t happened sooner. You’ve been through a lot over the last couple of months.”

Bowie shook his head. “I don’t think that’s it. I mean, I’ve definitely been through a lot. But I just don’t care if people want me dead. I’m not trying to be fatalistic or emo.

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